special

everyone wants to have a special someone in their life
to share their joy.. to have a shoulder to cry on.. to celebrate their success.. to grieve their sadness with

but what if.. someone that is special to u. or u being special to them.. is no longer their number 1 priority

where's the love.. when it is all the same thing.. over n over again. it has become a routine.. where's the love? when ur thoughts.. or wat u had said.. does not reach to them? where's the love? when wat u've said today.. they wont remember it tomorrow.. where's the love? when u feel that.. they dont love u like before?
why is it so hard?

at times u'd be neglected over minor things.. that meant big for them

u'd feel dejected.. u'd feel sad.. u'd feel unappreciated.. unloved..

for me.. its better not to have that special someone. if u dont mean that way to them.. or maybe has it fade? or maybe.. have they grown out of it? or maybe.. they're too used to it.. it does not feel special anymore?

sumtimes.. life seem meaningless to me. sometimes. i don have a clue on where am i heading to? wat is it that i actually want? wat is it actually my heart desire?.. i've always wished to have the freedom to choose.. but i don have the guts to grab that freedom.. which.. ..seems impossible for me.. trapped. is the feeling i loathe most...