sorry

dear android.. am so sorry.. out of sudden. u received those crazy messages from me... its been hard cooping it all up in my brains. suddenly i just blurt it out.. malu siot.. its so hard too u not being online nowadays... lonely giler.. no one to bitch around wif.

damn.. feel so ashamed on wat i've type in the sms-es. but its true.. am really tired.. just cant take it anymore.. just dont know till when i can take it anymore

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k.. am so tired.. my eyes are droopy.. my head feels heavy.. i feel hot n stuffy.. too many emotions at one time.. makes u feel sick.. too many things to jot down.. but held back..

too many people comin into my life.. wanting some space in my life back. which is impossible for it to happen.. makes me wonder.. wat have i done actually?? for those that had loved me.. and received my love in returned.. y is it so hard to forget me?.. i feel guilty at times.. cause i cant repay ur kindness. ur love.. i could only say thank you.. thank you for caring.. thank you for loving.. thank you for remembering me.. wat had pass.. is past.. reminiscing is okay.. but dont expect it in return.. all those memories.. i've put it way back in my head.. cause it'll make me sad..

looking at the current situation.. i feel like shit.. i felt selfish. i felt useless.. i felt that .. as if am using.. taking advantage... of the situation.. makes me sick..

why is life never fair? why does it always happen to the same person? over n over n over? life is never fair.. to a dear friend.. be patience.. life would be good eventually.. u'd rise again to be happy.. just give it time.. everythings happens for a reason.. everything is written.. no matter how bad or cruel it is.. there's always something good in it.. its all the plays of god's hand.

for me.. i'd just keep on living .. keep on pretending if i need to.. but i wished. it would change. i wish.. he would change.. he would realise. that am damn tired.. tired of fixing things alone.. tired of being neglected.. wat my heart really feels.. only god knows.. no matter how.. no matter who.. not everything is being told.. some.. i would keep it forever in my heart.. cause it would not harm anyone.. only me.. hope it'll be a reminder.. a lesson.. for me to keep on living