friends

throughout my life
bermacam² jenis kawan aku jumpa

buat aku gembira
buat aku sedeh
buat aku marah

made me learn many things

made me learn bout life.. how beautiful and cruel life can be

can u live without friends?

school has been a disgusting place for me.. people wanting to be in clique/gang makes me sick.. i even became one of the victim.. but did not go far
in the end i didnt bother.. cause u have to be pretty.. u have to be rich.. u've gotta strut the branded stuffs.. u've gotta attend those darn cool parties

which in the end.. meant nothing..... i've also felt i was ugly.. i was lame

ahhahahahah

now everyone says am comel. :p (masuk bakul angkat sendri).. it felt good.. people notice u.. people appreciate u

friends

i have now.. many many friends.. each brings different happines.. giving different meanings to me...

each different person.. i would only tell certain things on wat i feel..

i treasure the most those who've put up wif my crazy mood swings.. i love them so much.. most of my colleagues mmg gempak... cause they know how i am.. maki maki maki. japgi gile la tu. gelak.. cubit² orang..
am already 24.. but i can be a baby sumtimes.. seriously.. wif my frens je la aku leh bermanja.. x penah aku bermanja ngn orang camni.. seriously.. last 2 years ago. when i was in training for this shitty job.. i get to know that i'm manja actually.. quite a shock.. cause i've always thought that i've showed tough attitude. cause i hate when people know am weak.. am weak actually at heart.. am so in need of attention n love..

i think am mentally retarded too.. i can be crazy all the times.. i've always felt bad bout myself. bout my life.. nothing satisfies me.. and sometimes.. i would always have crushes.. :P that i would always remind myself.. dont go overboard.. its all the plays of my heart.. nothin significant later. when i would reminisce back

till now.. i could never think of leaving my bushuk.. only death would do us part.. even sometimes.. i've thought of leaving .. tapi.. hutang budi.. mmg dibawa mati.. i would only leave him when he doesnot love me anymore.. i duno why..

life sometimes becomes meaningless for me.. sometimes i don even know wat i want? why am here? suicide has always become like a solution.. but no.. i still remember ALLAh n the consequences.. the sin of suicide..

for now.. am confused.. damn confused.