tadaa

its been a while kan?

i dun have much to blog about
hahahah
life's been da same

work is always hectic n tiring (keja mana x letih?? goyang kaki pon letih)

i've already received my 2nd bespoke clutch by jezmine!!!
kewll kewlll... loved all those gold details! she even left some space if i want to add more buttons/badges.. kuikuikui

x amik gambo la.. my phone kan bengong.. nak beli camera!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gile mereng

tapi check it out at her blog k! ---->http://jezmineblossom.blogspot.com/2007/07/double-date.html

my colleagues semua cam.. cantiknyer begg.. wakakaka
i brought yg 1st clutch tu.. semua cam cakap.. cantiknye beg.. ceria cam kanak²
hahahhaha
aku ni kan mereng cam kanak² riang.. x sedar diri dah tua!!! miahahahahah

2nd clutch punye feedback lagi vasstt.. semua cam cantikkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

woohooo
the best part is dat.. u only have 1 of those clutches.. no other dlm dunia ni!! best kan?

i've been so tired.. damn damn tired.
too many things happen in my life lately
dicemuh
dicaci
disalah anggap
paling sedeh.. hurt by own fren

but life goes on rite?
wats life without heartaches?

bang bang bang

bang bang bang

how i wish it wont end
the pain that hits me
felt like pure joy

bang bang bang

i just wished my head would burst
how i wished time could be reversed
how i wished time could tell
how long could i stand?
how long would this last?
how long will i last?

bang bang bang
now she's dead

Will

when i'm dead

a few things i wanna say before i go

saint.. u know who u r.. u must remember to sing hujan's bila aku sudah tiada.. ahahha .. dats our promise when we heard dat song played

u tell nids.. i love her mucho.. cherish all da good times i had since we were 18 till la 24 ni
tell her to go for her appointment n for god sakes.. her braces its already overdue

tell bai.. i wish her all da best in finding the right man.. she deserves da best!

tell my sister.. my mom.. i'm sorry.. i became like a shit! ahahhaha

havent decide yet on how am i going to die.

i already knocked my head hard with my fists.. already slapped my face till my lips are swollen

was thinking of turnin on the iron till its hot and knock my head till it smashes into pieces..

then i thought of drivin the car n slammed it into the wall.. much nicer n easier eh? but i'm not sure whether he drove the car or ride on his bike

then i thought of slittin my wrists.. but all da things i have are blunt.. was thinking of using the shaver. how pathetic?

then i thought of electrocuting myself

then i dunno la

then i called someone who loved me
how pathetic ???

then i cooled down

then i wrote this

but then..

i really wished i was dead

puppet

little puppet with shiny shoes
strings attached that holds you

late at night
tiptoed
out through the window

u ran.. u danced.. u laughed
u ate.. u drank.. with content

after all the fun u had
u cleaned urself
spick and clean with a grin

little puppet with shiny belt
strings attached.. you were held back

loved your master you said
or are you actually afraid?

another day another night
as usual.. u tiptoed through the night

though clever you think you are
things might not be as what you wish

little puppet with shiny buttons
with strings attached

i pity you
now locked in a glass closet
trapped forever
how i'll miss your laughter

of trust n trapped

if you are in a relationship
u need to have trust
and respect

dont be too clingy
dont be too possessive
dont be too stupid

cause it will all end up in a pile of shit

lucky me.. eventhough my bushuk is so sengal sometimes.. at least he understands..

he understands that its hard for me to have loads of girlfriends.. as i have loads of boyfriends
mostly all of my frens are guys

at first he couldn't accept it.. slowly i showed and assured him that i love only him.. and those other guys are my frens.. he accepted!

and now goin out or lepaking wif guys is not an issue as long as i tell him where n with who

but why.. for some people.. they know their partner wont approve on wat they're doin or who they're befriending with.. but still they do it..

pathetic i say.. sometimes i sympathize

sympathize is because they are like being immobilized in this situation..
dont know else wat to say
cause it somehow relates to the shit i'm in rite now
am sucked into this hole because of those people
pity them..

crypted world
sometimes am so tired to decipher the cryptic lessons of life gave me
exhausted of catching up with life

falling back
falling into a black hole

pierced freak
piercing feeling.. i can't express how it felt
confused
what the hell
depictive memories sucked me whole
sucked me deeper n deeper
consuming me little by little
leaving nothing but ashes

ashes flew
leaving behind
only a spark of a wonderful moment

trapped
trapped
the trapped feeling is infinity
help me
take me away
wake me up
wake me up
from this horrible wicked dream

piercing feeling
deep in my heart
why is it there?
no one can tell
no one can conclude
neither me nor you

piercing feeling
so deep today

take it away
take it away

where?
tears
tears
running down my cheeks

why is it flowing
unable to be stopped
uncertain of the feelings
confusion kicking in

reaching out for something that is not there
something that was never there?
its a wonder..
now it explains why i fell
fell

grasping for air
grasping for something true
where is the love?

longing to feel needed
needed to feel belonged

why?
where is that something i tried to reach for?
where has it been?
why is it gone?

maybe its because i've stopped believing
believing in love

love that needs believing

love that needs reliving

inside
i laughed
i cried
i laughed
i cried

till i was exhausted by the devil inside

what is he trying to teach?
what is he trying to reach?
what is he trying to preach?
what is he trying to teach?

the devil inside

laughing
as it was you i was trying to reach

child
go away little child
your lovely smiles

go away little child
you and your lovely cries

go away little child
you have showered me with innocent smiles

go away little child
your love had seeped through my heart

go away little child
your words are like lullabies

go away little child
it is time to say goodbye

go away little child
for your love couldn't be mine

Gwen Stefani fans.. lookout!!

We are pleased to announce Gwen Stefani's first ever tour date in Kuala Lumpur this August...08/21/07 Kuala Lumpur - Bukit Jalil Indoor Stadium- On sale June 30 at 9:00 AM via www.axcess.com.my