oppressiveness

damn
feel farking depressed
no idea why
there are days dat i would just suddenly feel really really depressed. dejected.discouraged.
morosed u name it i got it all laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

rite now i blame it all to hujan
hoks
damn melancholic hiba. gundah. aku scandal
damn it even made me cried

am so curious. y do people think that i'm aggressive.. gangster like in other words.. awek ganas

hahaks
first impression of people about me.. dats too common i've heard off
stuck-up
moody
glooomy
budak cina pandai cakap melayu *duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

when they know me later
manja
loud
emo
hot tempered
caring
byk bebel

hahahaah
yes i guess i look stucked up when ppl first meet me
i have no idea y
cos when i dont smile i look like shit
hahaha
bagus per. xde orang nak kaco aku
aku lagi suka

mula² i started work after skool .. kt bukit raja east india.. damn. i became someone so bubbly frenly.. smua la suka kawan ngn aku
smpai satu JJ bukit raja tu kenal la aku

i started to hate people n world when i furthered studies kot
wakakakak
that is world
that is mass.comm.
hahaahaks
world is where u will meet all sorts of people.. nice.. bitchy.. farkers. backstabbers. 2faced
makes me feel like shit

years gone by
i dont give a shit bout people that i dont know
ahahah
xde minat dah nk berkawan ngn orang
nak bertegur newbies pon amik masa n memilih
too tired to make frens
too tired to put up pretty mask n pretend i'm nice

ahahahha
emo..
emo.. side of me.. yes.. am easily influenced.. perturbed.. affected by books.. songs.. movies..
damn.. when i read coelho's i feel so much love around me.. it gives me new impression of love
when i read harry potter.. i feel like a kid.. believing there is magic out there
when i listen to great songs.. i feel the song

ahaha
i bet everyone does

but i feel it, immersed, consumed it so deeply n greatly dat i sumtimes am influenced n produces unnecessary emotion
hahahaha
watever dat means
rite now
feel so dreary
so many reasons
so many emotions to handle
so many questions runnin through my head
so many confusions
so many unanswered questions
so many dat i sumtimes
remind myself
these are the plays of god's hand
sometimes it makes me wonder
wat lies beneath all of these
wat lessons is HE preparing for me.. wat does HE wants me learn. to see.. to observe
sumtimes am too tired to catch up
i just lay back n go with wat is written in my life... by HIS hands..

allahhuakbar..