of birthday n deaths

its 1.13am on 23rd august 2007
its zulkamal's birthday today... happy besdayyyyyy

acid's been admitted to hospital (on wednesdaY) suspected of appendix

damn.. she didnt tell her family.. because they have their hands full wif her father's cancer n all
poor thing.. she said she might have her operation tomorrow.. morning.. at the same time i wanted to visit her.. told her i would call her before i go

another fren's father passed away on monday . after zohor

my sister had her graduation on tuesday in utm johor

she sms-ed me, said that they bumped into my mak teh.. my father's sibling
my sis said that my grandpa have already passed away... god knows when!

she said that we have a cousin of her age.. same batch wif her. same campus in KL.. but they have just been introduced to each other on dat day as cousins.. AHAHAHHA

she said. that my step-mum was mummed all da time my ayah chatted wif mak teh
mak teh even cried when she said "balik la jenguk mak.. ayah dah xde"

told my sister.. well life is full of karma.. ayah's gettin back wat he's done.. look at wat i've done? i've butt out of the family.. of his life.. minding my own business.. attending to family whenever am being called.. if not.. i wont be home

wat a pathetic family i have
since i was in primary 6.. i have not been back to my kampung, due to my father.. n i have no idea on wat had happened.. but wat had happened then.. it was believed that my father is adopted.. so practically the family back in kampung are not his real family

am 24 dis year. the last time i went back to kampung for raya was in primary 6.. so practically it has been 12 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i miss my raya celebrations in kg.
my wan makes deliciousssssss rendang.. all home made.. dodol.. ketupat.. lemang.. damn..

n dat explains y.. each raya.. i'll be working on the raya day itself.. hahahaha
some people might say am crazy.. every time the raya leave application form comes out.. they dont bother giving it to me.. cause i dont want it..

wat the purpose of applying for leave? if am not celebrating raya the good ol' ways in kg... takat.. gi jalan² beraya kt PJ n KL.. i'd rather work n have triple pay!

actually it makes me sick goin home.. putting up a plastic face.. pretending everything's good.. everything's fine.. we're a happy family.. but the fact is.. my step-mom's always picking on me. can never see me happy.. can never see me smile or laugh.. she'd go picking on me..

pathetic

why do i always think dat i have a pathetic life?
but am always grateful. at least its not as bad as others.
at least.. i've lived up quite okay.. did not go astray..